Co Regulation

“People won’t remember what you said, they won’t remember what you did, but they will remember how you made them feel”.

Maya Angelou

Have you ever noticed how some people make you light up and others make you want to withdraw?

Co-regulation is the way that the nervous system of one individual  influences the nervous system of another.  It’s how you make someone feel, without saying a word. 

Interestingly (I think!) only mammals co regulate.  Mammals are the only organisms that stay in groups and require social engagement because for us that means increased chance of survival.

Dogs are really good at co regulation. If you have a dog you’ll know this. 

Co regulation from a dog (or other pet – but dogs are best – just saying 😉 ) is the same as (sometimes better than!) co regulation from another human. 

Co regulation is spontaneous. When we’re in a state of safety, we spontaneously give cues of safety to those around us. It’s not a conscious, planned thing. It’s just something that mammals do passively for each other. If you have a pet you’ll know that their bodies show exactly how they feel. When they’re in a state of safety, they spontaneously get closer and cuddle you. They look you in the eye. They become more playful. Their tails, ears and eyes all express their safety – and that rubs off on you.

So, by surrounding yourself with safe mammals, humans, dogs, cats, horses or any other mammal you care to choose, you will increase the amount of safety cues coming your way and, as a result, you will be on your way to a more regulated nervous system.

Co regulation is an essential component of a mind body approach for chronic pain, stress and trauma which are all factors that can result in a dysregulated nervous system. 

If you’d like to explore this, my 3 month Programme will help you:

• Practice skills that enhance the felt

sense experience of safety

• Explore your stressors and restore

balance; Body, Mind, Heart and Soul

• Deepen your somatic and emotional


• Grow in capacity to contain

uncomfortable sensations and invite

natural completion and integration.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top